Be of
Consistent Character
We all wear different
hats at different phases of our lives. Even exchanging one role for
another in a matter of minutes.
Say you are dealing
with an incident where your child is in need of you, either discipline,
mentoring, ministering, any of the parenting roles we juggles, and the
important call comes in from work that you've been waiting for all day and you
must take.
Clearly, our means of
interacting need to adapt between our child and our employer.
In our modern,
fast-paced lives these types of transitions are at times
unavoidable.
The critical element
remains that no matter which "hat" you are wearing, the head beneath
remains the same.
That is, no matter
what role you are called to fulfill, keep your self-identification and
priorities consistent. Never compromise on integrity, even to achieve a
more expedient result. This will help you de-stress difficult situations
and rapid transitions in roles you are called to fill by knowing and adhering
to the aspects of your character that are the most important to you.
You will find more
comfort in dealing with confronted changes, more confidence in defending your actions
and positions, and you will warrant more respect from those around you for your
clear focus on your integrity.
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Example:
Avoid "Do as I
say, not as I do." mentality.
Our actions speak
louder than our words.
Now, I send my young
children to bed earlier than I myself turn in. However, in doing so, I
explain the needs of their bodies for rest vs. that of an adult. I demonstrate
that I prioritize and appropriate amount of rest for my needs.
So, despite what appears
to be a "double standard", I stress the underlying priority, and the
reasoning becomes clearer.
I wish I could say
that this translates into seamless bedtimes every night...but it is a
process. Regardless, my position and justification remain consistent.
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By modeling integrity
and consistent character, we demonstrate confidence and conviction in our
beliefs.
For me, one of the
character traits I seek to consistently model is also an adaptability. I
am willing to continuously pull from outside sources for means of personal
betterment. This is change, but it is consistent change and an easily
discernible aspect of my character.
So, I do not maintain
that this should be a static, un-moving paradigm, rather an insight into your
character that those around you can come to rely on and even look up to.
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Getting Started:
To get started on this
journey (for it will be a life long pursuit), it is crucial to first know
yourself.
Make a list of the 3-5
character traits that are most important to you.
Set it aside and plan
on revisiting it in a day or two.
Continue this process
until your list remains unchanged.
Then, share it with
someone close to you that you can rely on to help keep you in check.
It is important that
this person also has occasion to observe you in various settings.
Finally, devise a
means of keeping tabs on your priorities and self evaluating your consistency.
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We all have buttons,
key stressors that cause us to fall back on less developed means of managing
interactions. As you solidify your focus on maintaining consistent
character, you will be more readily able to identify these buttons.
Identification will
lead to enabling corrections, but it is critical to recall that you will never
reach a perfect result, and your efforts will fall short from time to time.
Keep your head up as
you change hats, remember your goal, and allow yourself the luxury of forgiveness
when you slip.
As a parent, I fall
back to this quote when I feel myself lapse in this regard:
H.
Jackson Brown Jr. — 'Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.'
Find something that
motivates you and keep at it!
