It's the Way You Say It
When we communicate, only about 10% of our message is
actually brought accurately to the recipient through our words. Some of it is “lost in translation” on the
receiving end, but the real factor in bringing our point across is our non-verbal's, the things we do and how we say the words we
choose.
Think of the
difference in how your child may apologize when you require it of them versus
when they mean it. The words are the same, but it's night and day in
meaning and significance!
In the same way, your
child will pick up in the ways in which you speak and how you say things about
their training and martial arts in general. There are, however, some pitfalls in word choice and phrasing
that I hope to expose and even to provide some pellucid and practiced plans for
safe and effective replacement.
The Power of Words
The words we use have power and
influence the mental image our children create for themselves. Paint a positive and exciting picture for
your child, and they will become more likely to desire to be a source of
inspiration to your own learning by their training and growth in martial arts.
Power list of suggested word and
phrase changes:
1. Use the “Yet”
Adding this word to the end of your
statements shows that you are keeping an open attitude towards learning...
I don’t know, yet.
We can't do that, yet.
You just have learned to catch your
balance, yet
I realize you just haven't memorized
this all, yet
2. And the “Get”
Replacing the words "have to" and "need
to" with get shows things as
opportunity vs an obligation...
Obligation: You have to go
to karate tonight
Opportunity: You get to
spend an hour in karate tonight
Obligation: You will need to
stay 30 longer at open gym today since I have to go to the store.
Opportunity: You get to
have an extra 30 minutes of practice time in open gym today while I am at the
store.
Obligation: You have to
practice your terminology on the way to your test.
Opportunity: You get to
practice your terminology with me in the care on the way to your test tonight.
3. Place your "Bet!"
Always bet on your child’s
success! Keep a positive attitude and tone regarding their training and
practice habits.
“My kid is going to nail their next test, board break,
tournament, training session. “
Making changes to our
speech patterns can be a real challenge. It's okay to slip up periodically
as you make adjustments. Simply pause, acknowledge your misused phrasing,
and rephrase things in a positive light.
This will accomplish not only a
retraining of your thought-life, but also demonstrates to your listening child
that your heart and mind are in full support of them and their
activities. Acknowledging the slip can actually make the subsequent
correction an even stronger reinforcement than if you get it right the first
time
